Happy News.

I haven't blogged in awhile, but I have some good reasons! Most would say excuses, but I think these are pretty viable. Some pretty exciting things have been happening in the Emily-verse, some didn't interfere with blogging, but I put them in, anyway. I'm referring to the gap mainly between August to November.

• My a1c went down!
• I started doing only intervention at my job, instead of one week out of every three. That kept me busier than usual, since my day ended later than it did last year, which meant more planning at home.
• I spent about a month solid doing a marathon of schoolwork. I even took a week off of work in order to do in-classroom assignments. 
• In that month I completed about 23 credit hours worth of work minus about 5 assignments. 
• My record during that time was completing 8 assignments in a single day. I seriously spent every possible moment in front of my computer working strictly on schoolwork. After I was finished I didn't want to spend another minute in front of a screen for awhile.
• Because I was able to complete those credit hours, I got accepted into the Cohort Seminar at the university to do my demonstration teaching internship starting in January!! 
• I've been able to get placed at the school where I've been working, so I already know the layout, teachers, and routines.
• I'm doing it with my first grade teacher. We are both SO EXCITED. It's like coming full circle. The best thing about doing it with her may seem backward to some, but it's that she still views me as her STUDENT. Most of the other teachers at the school view me as either a peer or friend, which would make it easy for them to just let me do whatever, and not teach me as much. This teacher will continue to teach me as she always has. When I did some of my required lessons in her room, she gave me awesome feedback during the lesson (while the students were doing independent practice) that really improved the lesson. I did two observations in her room and my whole style improved. 

My blogging rate probably won't improve much, as my internship starts on January 6th and runs through April 4th. It will be a very busy 12 weeks, with a lot of time spent up at the school after the actual school day is over. Maybe one of these days I'll just MAKE time to blog, but for the last few months, it just hasn't been a priority. I won't promise that I'll publish much, but I'll promise that I'll try :).

--Emily

Another Diagnosis.

I have PCOS.

5 years ago, my dermatologist gave up on all of her meds and sent me back to my endo with an hormone (basically, birth control) prescription. My endo agreed to put me on it, and did some blood work. The levels came back extremely high. And stayed high. So, my endo decided to put me through extensive testing. I was tested for several diseases, including tumors, and genetic diseases. One day I spent most of a day at TCH, getting blood work drawn, going back to get a shot, then doing more blood work. I was sent to have an ultrasound done. 

I was scared.

Really scared.

Then, she sent me to the GYN next door on that floor. She looked at my ultrasound results. And kept looking. She kept sending people in there to check on me, saying that she was still looking. I'm not kidding, this went on for 2 HOURS. 

I was panicking.

Finally, she came in and said a whole bunch of things with dangerously italicized mights and thinks. 

My mom and I headed back to the endo. I was in tears.

The endo agreed to see us, and told us that I would probably be okay, but I might not be able to have children.

I was devastated. 

I was 16. 

She decided to do some genetic testing, and said it would take 6-8 weeks before we would know the results.

We waited.

And waited.

10 weeks rolled by, and we never heard anything.

Finally, my mom called, and the nurse on duty said that the results came back fine, that's why they didn't call us. 

I never found out why those levels were so high.

About a year and a half ago, I got off of the BC pills, because they make me cry all the time, and it was getting to the point where it was, seriously, all the time. The breaking point was my crying at school. Which was college. Which was really embarrassing. 

I got off of the meds the next week. I just couldn't handle it anymore. 

Fast forward 3 months, and I started going to an adult endo.

I never said anything about the hormone thing, until my acne started coming back horribly.

At my last appointment, she did blood work, and put me back on BC until the results came back. When they did (high, again), she put me on spironolactone. I had to get off of the BC, because I was in tears all the time, AGAIN. The new med took about 6 weeks, and now my skin has cleared up A LOT. 

I went back to the endo again today, and we told her that story. She looked at me and said the reason that my levels are so high, because I have PCOS. She showed me the levels, and explained it to me. She said it didn't show up on the ultrasound because people with milder cases (like mine), don't have the cysts all of the time, and I likely didn't when the ultrasound was done. 

To some, that diagnosis might have been devastating. To me, it was an answer.

She said that if I stay on my current med, and try to keep my weight reasonable, that, while it may take a little longer than "normal" to happen, I should be able to have kids.

Years ago, I had swallowed that bitter pill, and it's been in the back of my mind ever since. 

Oddly enough, that diagnosis set me free. Free from years of pain and worry. Free from thinking that it really wasn't worth it to pursue any kind of relationship, because it might end in heartache from something I couldn't help.

Anyway, I hope this can help someone else. 

Get answers.

Push the issue.

It just might set you free.

WOTW: Risible.

risible, (RIZ-uh-bul), adjective.

(BOW)

Funny or amusing; worthy of laughter.

(AH)

1. Relating to laughter or used in eliciting laughter. 

2. Eliciting laughter; ludicrous.

3. Capable of laughing or inclined to laugh. 

(LLat. risibilis)

Della invited Alison to lunch, knowing Alison's risible personality would cheer her.

The child's risible escapades made for delightful storytelling by his parents.

Looks like I'm drawn to words that have sunny definitions. I guess you could say I'm rather ebullient, and that I love the more risible parts of life.

Friday Four.

• I go back to work a week from today. I have mixed emotions. 
• I love my summer and vacation.
• I'm ready for Fall.
• One of my friends from the first school where I was fully employed is coming to my school and I'm super excited about that.
• Also there are a bunch of new people that I don't know, which makes me nervous.
• I actually enjoy my job!
• But I have to do student teaching in the Spring, and that means leaving the job I love.
• I have an endo appointment on Tuesday! I know, I know, I just had one, but my CDE and endo are only both in the office on Tuesdays, so I'm trying to schedule them so that I don't have to take off work. If I go this Tuesday, I can wait until Thanksgiving week to schedule my next appointment.
• My new little nephew got moved out of the incubator this week! He's still in the NICU, and will be for awhile, but now he's one step closer to coming home.
• This happened:
  
  I have been sort-of-kind-of flat-lining again, more than just this once, finally, after a couple of months of constant peaks and valleys. Also it matched my meter, which made me extra happy.

WOTW: Ebullient.

Ebullient:

(BOW)
ebullient (eh-BOOL-yunt), adj.
Full of cheer, enthusiasm, or optimism, as expressed in speech, writing, or behavior.

(AH)
1. Zestfully enthusiastic.
2. Boiling or seeming to boil; bubbling.
Latin: ebuliere, to bubble up.

My professor was particularly ebullient when lecturing about Thomas Jefferson, his favorite president.

Some find my constant state of ebullience delightful, while others simply consider it annoying.


Isn't the 1st definition from American Heritage absolutely delicious? "Zestfully enthusiastic" is one of the happiest, most exuberant phrases I've ever read. The fact that it can be summed up into "ebullient" makes it even better.

Friday Four

I'm working out a new blog format, where I will post every weekday, or at least, try to. I've noticed a lot of people do Friday Fives, or some other number. I decided on Four. So, here goes.

• Most of the time, site insertions (pump and Dexcom) don't hurt, or cause only a little discomfort, so when they do, it's almost shocking, and makes me wonder if something's wrong! This morning, I put in a new one, and it hurt like the Dickens. Compounded by my bonking it on a door frame. Twice. But it's working, and pretty spot-on.
• I really shouldn't browse the nonfiction section in the library. I have a bunch of books that I really don't have time to even glance at, but I couldn't not get them. Grammar, spelling, knitting, French idioms, etiquette, and a biography. I don't even know where to START.
• I hate waking up low. That feeling is so much worse than a "day" low. It's like a lost, desperate feeling.
• I've always planned on getting a master's degree, but up to now, never found one that seemed to suit me. Until the idea of becoming a children's librarian slapped me in the face. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. But first, I have to finish my Bachelor's. *sigh*

Word of the Week.

Starting today, I am going to post a Word of the Week every Tuesday. I got inspired by Ed over at Lexicolatry, who is reading the Oxford English Dictionary, and posts a word from his reading each day. I will post words that I discover by various means, but most commonly, they will come from a random opening in the dictionary. I shall be using The Ultimate Book of Words Students Should Know (BOW), in conjunction with The American Heritage College Dictionary (AH) .

The Ultimate Book of Words Students Should Know is an awesome tool for college and high school students in particular. This dictionary uses simple language definitions, phonetic pronunciation keys, and then uses the word in a sentence, further conveying the meaning and proper use of the word. Invaluable for someone who likes words, but isn't quite sure how to work them into a paper or conversation.

I'll be honest, I love my collegiate dictionary. American Heritage just happened to be the hardback dictionary the college bookstore was selling when I needed one, but I probably would have gone with it compared to others, for purely superficial reasons. It's pretty. It's a rich burgundy, not a glaring red (here's looking at you, Merriam-Webster), with gold trim. This dictionary looks formal and professional. It also has those fantastic paint-splattered-looking page edges. It's also large enough to have the words I need, but small enough to not be cumbersome.

Why use both? Well, I like the fact that the BOW narrows down to some of the more colorful words, instead of including every word and historical figure. I like the formality of the AH, and the fact that the definitions often include colorful words as well.

Anyway.

Down to business.

The Word of the Week IS:

Nugatory.

(BOW)
(NOO-guh-tor-ee), adjective.
Insignificant; having little importance; pointless or without purpose; or ineffective or meaningless; powerless; worthless.

(AH)
adj. 1. Of little or no importance; trifling.
2. Having no force; invalid.
(Latin: nugatorius)

PAUSE. Trifling. What a Wonderful Word. /pause.

Some people consider hair bows a nugatory accessory, but, to me, they are essential.

There is a school of thought that perceives cursive writing as a nugatory skill.


There you have it!



I know this is supposed to be a D-blog, but there is more to me than diabetes. And the educator in me says that learning never hurts anyone :).

Okay.

Emily was excited, but a little nervous to be at church camp. This was her first time going to this camp, and here, they roomed by age group, not church group. As the days went by, Emily cheered up; the other 14 year old girls in her cabin were really nice and a lot of fun, and the church was more than amazing.
Emily also began to get sick. Instead of spending the last day of camp with her new friends, Emily spent it in the dorm, asleep.

She slept the entire way home from Missouri, a good 15 hours, still sick with a fever.

When Emily got home, there was no time for recovery, as she had to get in her mom's car and go to Florida for a big family vacation at Disney World! Everyone was going, her mom, dad, brother, aunt, uncle, 2 cousins, and grandma. At least her mom had been able to get the doctor to call in an antibiotic for her to take.

Emily slept the entire way to Disney World, a 17 hour trip.

Upon arrival at Disney World, everyone burst out of the vehicles with excitement, even though it was nighttime. The next day, Emily and her family went to the parks, ready to begin their vacation. Emily was feeling a little better, she thought, and was having a good time, until the afternoon. About 3 o'clock, she got too tired, and went with her grandma back to the hotel. She slept 15 hours and didn't get up 'til the next morning.

This continued for the next 3 days.

Finally, Emily felt better, and was able to enjoy the rest of the trip.

When Emily arrived home, everything seemed normal. Until August. Starting then, she stopped all physical development, and began to lose weight. She came home from school and took a nap, ate supper, and went straight to bed. She drank a lot too. Her mom was worried at first, but justified the behavior because Emily was a high school freshman, and in marching band.

What her mom didn't realize was that Emily was so thirsty that she couldn't satiate it. She would drink 5-6 glasses of water per night. At school, she filled her water bottle and went to the restroom between every class, and by the middle of the next class, her water was gone, and she started feeling desperate. Staying awake during class was a chore. To this day, she remembers very little of what went on during Biology class, the period of time when it was the hardest to keep her eyes open (Note: probably around the time my breakfast was breaking down).  When she marched, her feet would draw up inside her shoes, but by the time she got home, it was already forgotten.

But, based on what she could see, her mom got worried.

In January, Emily's mom took her to the doctor. The doctor placated her mom, and told her that there was nothing to be concerned about.

In February, Emily's mom took her back. The doctor said they'd run some tests for anemia, thyroid, and such. Her mom asked them to test for diabetes, too, although she hoped beyond hope that it wouldn't be that.

On February 7, 2007, the results came back. Her a1c was 18.0.

After a hard trip on the bus, trying to keep her eyes open, Emily walked in the door. Her mom told her that she had diabetes. Emily fell on her mom's bed, in shock. Really, diabetes? Her? This couldn't be possible, could it? Her mom hugged her, assuring her that it was going to be okay, and that they would do whatever they had to do to make her healthy.

The duo went to the doctor's office to have a fingerstick test done. 372 mg/dL. Moderate ketones*.
The doctor said to see an endocrinologist within the next 2 weeks or so.

Emily's mom decided it was time to call the pediatrician downtown. The pediatrician said, "Go to Texas Children's. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200. Just go." They did run home and grab some clothes, first, knowing that they would at least be there overnight.

That night, Emily was given her first insulin shot.

And she told her mom that she would be okay.

The next 3 days, they waited, took classes, and learned how to give shots. Emily was nervous, but once she found out that this was NYGD (Not Your Grandma's Diabetes), she began to feel better. She could still eat the things she loved, there just were some times that it wouldn't always be a good idea. She would have to deal with high and low blood sugars. She would have to give shots several times a day.

But she would be okay.

And okay she is still.




*An a1c of 18 does not usually correlate to moderate and small ketones, but that is all I ever ran. I have run large ketones once since dx, and have only run ketones at all a handful of times. I'm just one of the very blessed to not easily run ketones. 

The time my a1c wasn't 11.

As PWDs, we often chant "it's not a grade, it's not a grade" when referring to a1cs. But it’s not the fact that it’s a grade, it’s a number that we would like to fall in a certain range. When we see it, it has some sort of effect on us.

 “Oh, I thought it would be higher/lower!”

 “That’s right about where I thought it would be.”

 “Ooookay, then. That’s too high.”

 “Yay! It’s finally below ##!”

It elicits some form of reaction.

Yesterday, I had an endo appointment. And I was nervous. I even warned my mother the night before to expect a higher a1c than normal. I’ve been having a lot of highs lately. It’s not that I’m not trying, though. I’m correcting, I’m counting my carbs, and I’ve been making some dosing adjustments. I was doing okay, and then May came and everything went out the window. After I made several changes, and things hadn’t improved at all, I was getting rather frustrated. And, surprise, surprise, with the looming endo visit, I began to dwell on my a1c. And somehow came to the assumption that it would be 11. My a1c has never been 11. It was 18.0 when I was diagnosed. It’s been 8, 9 before. It’s been 6, 7. It was 13.6 not long after dx. The point is, I don’t know where 11 came from. But it stuck. I walked in the office yesterday assuming that it would two stark, black ones staring at me on the printout.

Turns out, maybe I haven’t been doing as poorly as I thought. It just seemed that way since I had had more highs than usual. No, my a1c wasn’t perfect, but I could’ve done cartwheels (or not, I would’ve hurt something. Like, ME, for instance) when I saw that it was only .1% higher than last time.

When I went to see my CDE, I told her about being worried about it. She helpfully reminded me that blood sugars that cause an 11 a1c would’ve caused me to be symptomatic (drinking all the time, weight loss, etc…), which I wasn’t. I also felt better when she downloaded my Dexcom graphs, because, yes, there are definite patterns.

“Oh, nice, I can tell you’re bolusing and correcting, which means I don’t have to harp at you or anything. Let’s just make some changes.”

And we did.

And that was the time my a1c wasn’t 11.

That Dip Stuff.

Although I like to think I have a relatively large vocabulary, words often fail me when I have to think of the name of something. Or, worse, for something. Hence, "that dip stuff". 

For years, my grandmother has made a Mandarin Orange Cake. The frosting is simple: 1 container Cool Whip, 1 pkg instant vanilla pudding mix, 1 can crushed pineapple. About 3 years ago, my mother and I, who don't like it, came up with the genius idea (this is before we learned about Pinterest, so everything was, therefore, genius) to omit the pineapple, and use it as a dip instead of a frosting, and also make it lite. So we:

Mixed 1 small container lite Cool Whip with 1 small box (or you can do large and large) sugar-free-fat-free instant vanilla pudding MIX, and let it chill for about 1-2 hours so the Cool Whip would absorb the pudding better.

It was fabulous. 

Put it on just about anything and it becomes delicious: fruit, graham crackers, muffins, pumpkin bread, pretzels. My sister-in-law and I like to just eat it straight.

However, we have never come up with a name for it. We don't use it as frosting. We could call it something mundane like "Vanilla Dip", but it just doesn't fit it for some reason. Too plain for something oh-so-heavenly. "Stuff" always gets added to the end of whatever we try to call it.

 SO, it's just, "that dip stuff", and probably always will be.

Impact in the...Cafeteria? Part Deux

Yes, I am writing about the cafeteria again. But not about her.

This year I had cafeteria duty. I had the opportunity to be like her, or to not be like her (that IS the question!). I had to hand out spoons, straws, napkins, advice, my own brand of motherly care and consoling, and I also received.
I received thank yous, little hugs, big hugs, bear hugs, and also...words. Both beautiful and heart-wrenching words came from their mouths.

"I love you, it's like you're my aunt, and my favorite."

to another student "Ms. Emily always takes care of us, don't worry."

whilst hugging me "I don't want to let go, I want you to stay here!"

"Can come home with you? I don't want to go home." (this not only in the cafeteria, but also the bus line, from more than one kid, had me nearly crying. Some were just being facetious, but a couple of them were serious. That's the heartbreaking part.)

And on autograph day,

"Of course I had to come get yours, Ms. Emily!"

Y'all can't see the looks on their faces, but I could. And I'm going to miss my kiddos so, so much next year, since they'll be big 3rd graders, off to the next campus. I can only hope that I made the impact on them, that they made on me, one for the better.

Because of things they've said, trusted me with, hugs they've given, I've grown, and become more than what I used to be. They may not realize it, but I do. "Even a child should lead them." And they have.

48 Things.

It seems like I haven't had time to breathe in a long time, and I had to let a lot of things go in order to manage my priorities. Blogging, pleasure reading, Twitter, and writing in general all felt the axe. I have some free time tonight, but not enough energy to be creative, so I decided to dig up the 48 things meme that was floating around the DOC in January.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

My middle name is the same as my mother's.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Last Sunday.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes, unless I'm writing too quickly.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Turkey.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

No, but I do have an "absobloomin'lutely" adorable nephew, and a new niece or nephew on the way!

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Possibly. I can be really loud, but I don't generally care for loud people!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Not that great at it.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

Yes!

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

No! I don't like falling.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Honey Nut Chex.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

Psh. No.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

Lifting wise? No. Emotionally? It really, really depends. Not terribly strong, no.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Blue Bell Dream Bars, or Blue Bell Homemade in the Shade.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Attitude.

15. RED OR PINK?

I wear red better, but I love, love pink. My room looks like pink either threw up or exploded.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

Physically? My shoulders. They make it so hard to buy properly sized clothes. Personality? I can annoy myself by being too loud, but most people peg me as quiet.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

I miss my best friend growing up. When we hit ages 11 and 12, she moved about an hour away and really, really changed. I still mourn that loss.

18. WHAT IS THE TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?

Being able to say no. 

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

I don't have any on right now, but I had blue flats on earlier.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

A Blue Bell Dream Bar

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

I Could've Danced All Night from the My Fair Lady soundtrack with Julie Andrews.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

I love pink, and purple, but I think I would BE yellow.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

Paris Amour, Charming Charlie's "Lace", cookies, and cinnamon.

24. HOW IMPORTANT ARE YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS TO YOU?

Very!

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Mountain Hideaway.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

None. 

27. HAIR COLOR?
Brown, with some natural blonde highlighting.

28. EYE COLOR?

Green.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

No, I wear glasses.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?

Mexican.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

Tangled. At the doctor's office. It was a long wait.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

White and pink.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

That is so hard! I love Christmastime, but I also love my Summer break :).

35. FAVORITE DESSERT?

Ice cream or cookies.

36. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?

Cardio.

37. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?

Computer, and mostly Pinterest.

38. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

I am SO behind! I'm reading Christmas Countdown by Vicki Hinze, and I'm ready to start The Tutor's Daughter by Julie Klassen.

39. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

It doesn't have a mouse on it, but it's the one WGU sent me. It's blue with the WGU-Texas emblem.

40. FAVORITE SOUND?

Piano.

41. FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC?

Southern gospel without too much southern, if that makes sense. And Disney music with other musicals thrown in.

42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

Colorado Springs, CO for Summer Heritage.

43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

I can sing and act some. And I like to think that I can teach.

44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Houston, TX

45. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?

NE of Houston

46. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?

Off white.

47. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?

It was red. Was. Sad story.

48. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 48 QUESTIONS?

C'est intéressant.